Today I’d like to dig in on the second installment of my two part series on transitions between home and school.
Before I go much further, however, I want to acknowledge that this series is hitting right at a time when our city is grappling with a devastating tragedy in the form of the Covenant school shooting. Since this is such a sensitive and difficult subject, if you would like to skip over my disclaimer on this topic, I am inserting a table of contents and framing each question I asked of my friend in our conversation as headings in this blog post so you can navigate past my thoughts and get straight to the meat of how one local family has navigated the various aspects of transitioning between homeschooling and traditional schooling.
- Disclaimer / TW: brief thoughts on the shooting
- Background on my chat with Kendra
- What was it like to create a transcript and enroll your kids in the local public school, especially since you were coming in as an independent homeschooler?
- What’s it like to have some kids homeschooling and some kids in public school?
- Is public school something that you feel is worthwhile in the long term?
- What’s something good that has come from having some kids in public school?
- What are you thinking about for next year?
- Final thoughts
Disclaimer / TW: brief thoughts on the shooting
In the wake of our city’s recent tragedy, parents are understandably shaken and looking for solutions to a difficult question. In no way should the conversations discussed in these blog posts about school transitions be seen as advice, or as a stance that any of us know how to solve this gaping problem in our country on an individual level. Of course families can and should make the choices that feel best for them. And oftentimes, a learner’s individual safety, whether that be from bullies or other forms of violence, is absolutely one of the aspects considered as parents make decisions about education.
That said, societal problems require societal solutions. Also, homeschooling is best when families get to engage in rich, meaningful ways with other families, which is impossible to accomplish in isolation. This is one of many reasons why homeschooling during the covid pandemic was so difficult for so many, even for the seasoned homeschoolers.
Isolation is never what homeschooling is supposed to look like. In any other situation, insisting on keeping a human being away from all opportunity for social gatherings would be seen as neglect or abuse. Attempting to replicate a traditional school model at home by relying on an overabundance of desk work or workbook time and not much time getting out into the world often leads to a dry education that ignores the vast needs (social, emotional, etc.) of the whole person and misses a huge opportunity to learn in a tangible, experiential way. Even without considering dedicated learning time spent with other kids, the vitality of a home based education comes from a child’s ability to engage in society. Trips to the grocery store, community events, festivals, concerts, or movie theaters will all mean being in public spaces with sometimes large groups of people. Visits to the library, museums, historic sites, trips to the park, or special interest classes all mean being around and, often, engaging closely with others. And sometimes, those big public spaces can be rife for violence, as we are likely all well aware.
On a personal note, I still remember the day last fall when the downtown library had to be evacuated due to a bomb threat, which occurred right as my daughter and I were traveling there to meet up with some friends for our weekly homeschool club. It was frightening, I was certainly grateful for our flexibility, but I was also reminded that, if someone wishes a group of people harm, there isn’t a lot I can do as an individual to prevent their actions.
I shared that not to be alarmist but to say that the threat against our children and their ability to gather safely isn’t something that can be eliminated completely simply by deciding to homeschool. It may help give us the illusion of safety or offer us one way to feel safer in our day to day lives, but this is a complicated issue that needs a multi-faceted solution. Opting out of society isn’t the answer. At least not in the long term. So the discussions here and in my previous post are shared with the understanding that we, as parents, are all doing the very best we can with what we have in an excruciatingly difficult time. They are offered as a peek inside of what some families have experienced as they’ve navigated the transitions between homeschooling and traditional schooling, much as you might sit down with a friend over a cup of coffee and ask for their insight as you make your own decisions. They most certainly aren’t intended to be advice, judgment, or anything aside from a listen in on a chat between parents. So with that, let’s dig in and hear a bit more about what it can be like to transition from homeschooling to public school.
Background on my chat with Kendra
I already covered the legal and logistical complexities of either homeschooling or using the public school system in my first post of this series, as well as in my post on the three legal ways to homeschool in Tennessee. So today, we’re going to look at some of the more nebulous questions that can arise when families are making the decision to put their previously homeschooled child into public school.
I spoke with Kendra Andrus about her experience with this exact process, as she’s a mother of six children and has both homeschooled as an independent homeschooler and used the public school system, depending on the unique needs of each of her children.
Kendra was homeschooled herself between the 5th and 8th grades and then transitioned to public high school when she and her parents moved to a college town in southwest Virginia. Kendra’s parents had initially pulled her out of public school to homeschool when they saw her retreating into a bit of a shell due to some issues she was experiencing in the public school system, and this was back in the early 1990s when homeschooling was still fairly uncommon. What resulted for her, though, was a huge personal blossoming thanks to the freedoms and opportunities before her, giving her an eclectic education that unfolded at her own pace and that she just loved.
Upon entering high school, she and her parents sat down with the guidance counselor at the local school to discuss her placement. Kendra shared with me that she remembered the guidance counselor taking off his glasses, leaning back, and saying that it sounded like she would fit in well with the Senior level curriculum. She was 14. Her parents pushed back, concerned about the social ramifications of their child being in classes with 17 and 18 year olds, so she entered high school as a 14 year old junior and graduated at the top of her class the following year, ultimately attending the local college at age 16.
So when Kendra had a family of her own, it was already in her wheelhouse to consider homeschooling as a viable, perhaps ideal option. Kendra has 6 children, and balancing their individual needs and interests in the midst of the overall needs of the family is sometimes a delicate dance that she handles with grace and aplomb. To that end, one of Kendra’s children did not gel well with homeschooling several years ago and enrolled in public school. That school year wasn’t great for them, so they came back home. Later, Kendra found some balance by enrolling some of her children in a homeschool tutorial and keeping the others home exclusively before ultimately deciding to enroll several children in public school this past school year while continuing to homeschool the others.
This sort of year-to-year adjustment in the decision about whether or not to homeschool is a common topic of conversation in the homeschool community, as many of us find ourselves assessing our choices in the spring as we begin planning for the fall. That introspection is quite healthy as we debate whether things are going well, if the children are learning, if the parents are able to also thrive, if the family is at peace overall with the decision to continue homeschooling, and we begin to look for solutions to any areas that need addressing. As the common advice from veteran homeschoolers to the newer recruits so aptly says, “occasional check-ins to see if we’re doing it right is what will help us continue to do it right.”
So when I sat down with Kendra to ask her about her own experience with home to school transitions, she had a lot to share.
This conversation has been edited for time and clarity.
What was it like to create a transcript and enroll your kids in the local public school, especially since you were coming in as an independent homeschooler?
I have actually done this twice, because I put a second grader and a kindergartener in at the beginning of a January semester a few years ago. That time, I read that I would need to bring curriculum with me and show it to them so that they would believe me in terms of placement. But when I went to the MNPS office to sign them up, they told me that they didn’t need to see it, the school would need to see it. But when I went to the school, they told me that they didn’t need to see it either. So this next time around, I didn’t do any of that. I suppose I went to the MNPS office to fill out some paperwork – a small, one to two page form – and I chose the grade level. They didn’t need a transcript, because I’m an independent homeschooler. They already know me in the system because I have to submit my curriculum plans and attendance records through the district every year anyway. I’m sure this could be different for someone coming from an umbrella, but that was my experience. Nothing that needed grades or anything, and they didn’t seem to want to look at it. They were much more laid back than expected.
What’s it like to have some kids homeschooling and some kids in public school?
Honestly, I feel like I’m burning the candle at both ends. Yes, there are some moments in the middle of my day that are more peaceful and productive for me, but other than that, my day starts earlier, it’s busier in the morning, my evenings are busier… it’s a lot. And then there are the emotions of it all. There’s a lot that we’ve given up together, things that public school kids are missing out on, things that I’m reading with my homeschooled kids that I wish we could all be reading as a family; I still do all the plays and performances and field trips and then I feel like some of my kids are missing out on it, and I have to take a lot of extra time to check in with my school kids’ emotional lives as they navigate public schools so they aren’t stressing too much about tests, social dynamics, changes in their day like if their teacher is going to be out or were the bullies on the bus. When it was just our little bubble, it was just about breaking up fights among my own kids or navigating our own family dynamics. It’s a lot to add this, too.
Is public school something that you feel is worthwhile in the long term?
I’m still being intentional about reading some things as a family or taking the time for the entire family to do fun things together, but overall, the trade offs and what we’re missing out on and what’s hard on us is not worth it to me because I feel that the education they’re receiving from their school is very lacking. If they were receiving a fantastic education as a trade off, then it could be worth it. But this is a title one school, and honestly, it’s worse than I thought it would be. The administration is very focused on tests because so much of their funding is based on test scores, the kids miss entire months of quality learning opportunities just for test prep. And there are so few books in the school that my sixth grader’s class teacher spent several months just trying to access enough copies of a book for the class to be able to read a short novel together. But then they had to abandon it half way through and get back to test prep. So the kids didn’t even get to experience reading a single book in its entirety as a class during the entire school year. Not one book.
What’s something good that has come from having some kids in public school?
There is more peace at home in the hours when they’re not all together. And I am glad for the experience so that I can see what the system is really like so I’m not just making decisions out of my biases. I’m politically liberal and believe in the public school system, so I’m not against it, but I just want to homeschool my kids for the variety of my own personal reasons. And now seeing it, there are definitely good people involved, but the system is just so, so flawed. The amount of testing alone is just so excessive, and so everything is truly just teaching to the test. Every three weeks, I feel like my kids are talking about another test. The entire first two months were benchmark tests so they could see what each student needs for additional help, so we were two months into school before any kid-specific education was happening, and that felt like such a waste of time.
One of the reasons I put one child in is that she is behind academically, she does have some sort of learning challenge, and so she does need help that the public school system can help us with which would be hard to access individually. But accessing that help has been such a huge process. Our meeting with everyone on the team won’t happen until April 19th. So that’s literally 4 weeks before school is out, she will have the results of her testing, and recommendations for what to do next. Some of it is that these things take time, but some of it is that I’m still learning how this whole school thing works. I have 4-5 apps on my phone to communicate with different teachers or keep tabs on homework. It’s just so much to figure out, and it’s exhausting. I’m also frustrated because they won’t let me do things like volunteer in the cafeteria. We don’t have a PTO at our school, and it feels as though they are actively discouraging parent involvement.
What are you thinking about for next year?
Since we’re moving to a different school zone, that changes my thoughts about it a little. I was chatting with a fiend who works in the middle school in our new zone who was just speaking as a friend, and her first response was just – don’t come. She walked it back a little bit and said let’s think about each thing specifically, but she can see the burnout of the teachers, the funding difficulties, and the way that particular school is run, she could say that the schools are just really struggling post covid. The bureaucracy, the staffing… it’s just really hard. But at the same time, I’m also friends with someone in administration at the elementary school in the new zone, and I feel better about that school as an option. So I’m considering homeschooling my older children again and then trying the new public elementary school for the younger ones.
Final thoughts
Obviously, this is just one of countless experiences with families transitioning between homeschooling and public school. I know friends whose teenagers loved their high school experience in public school after homeschooling for several years in their childhood. Some friends took their kids out of public school to homeschool, never looked back, and have thriving adult children as a result, much as Crystal described her family’s situation in my fist post in this series. I know of others who homeschooled due to the covid pandemic and then put their kids back in public school as soon as they could, and their kids have thrived as a result. And I know still others – myself included – who found a middle ground solution with tutorials, dual enrollment classes, or other hybrid-style homeschooling approaches. As with anything, there are many facets to the educational choices faced by parents, and each aspect of those decisions are as individual as the people making them. Hopefully, however, this has helped to shed some light onto some of the complex issues involved in deciding between homeschooling and public school.
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